Acceptance
by elphabachan
Summary: Jackie is having a bad day. Will it improve?
1. Chapter 1

**Acceptance: Part 1**

A/N: This is not a romantic J/H story, which I love writing incidentally. This is a Jackie as Independent Woman story. There are a few references to a Buffy/70s Show crossover I wrote but haven't quite had the guts to post (sigh, oh Spike), so hopefully those moments aren't too confusing. Oh, and I changed Jackie's birthday to November, cuz it suited my needs better. Hope you all like it!

Disclaimer: I own nothing affiliated with 70s Show, Buffy, or the Beatles.

Her alarm clock buzzed at six forty five. She rolled over, and turned it off. God, I don't want to get out of bed, she thought, rubbing her eyes. She had a feeling that it was going to be a bad day. She sat up, and forced herself out from under the warm covers. Being back at her mothers house was hard, especially on cold days like this one. Mainly because it meant that the walk to the bus stop was probably going to be intolerable.

Jackie turned on the hot water as hot as it would go without scalding her. She had liked to use lots of flowery soaps, but not anymore. What was the point? Now it was just good old fashioned Palmolive. She turned on the radio in the bathroom, and removed her robe. She climbed into the shower as the Beatles came on.

_Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away_

_Now it looks as though they're here to stay._

_Oh I believe in yesterday._

The water relaxed her. As it streamed over her body, she thought about her relationship with Steven, when they were happy. When he liked her.

_Suddenly I'm not half the man I used to be._

_There's a shadow hanging over me._

_Oh yesterday came suddenly._

She forced her head under the stream of hot water, and let her tears mix with it. Why not, she thought. Wash it away. Like a stain. She wiped her eyes with her arm, and held it all in as much as she could. But it was getting harder and harder every day.

She dried her hair and pulled it back into a ponytail. She put on her white blouse and long black skirt. She grabbed her nice shoes and put them in her bag. She wasn't about to wear those in the snow. She didn't have time for breakfast, so she grabbed some money from her desk drawer. After she put on her coat and hat, she ran down the steps to the hall closet. As she pulled on her boots, she noticed the note on the door.

Jackie, I'm going to Aruba with Hal. I'll be back Saturday!

Love, Mom

She laced up her boots, yanked the note off the door, and ripped it up. She made sure to throw it away, and remembered she needed a book for the bus. The ride to Green Bay was an hour long on the bus, and she did it every day of the work week. Books would be the only entertainment she had. But lately Nancy Drew wasn't doing the trick. She kept seeing herself as Nancy, starring in the book 'Nancy Drew and the Mystery of Her Ruined Life'.

Instead she grabbed the book 'To Kill a Mockingbird' from the shelf and threw it in her bag. Count your blessings, she thought. You could live in rural depression time Alabama.

She had to run for the bus.

"Wait!" she yelled, knowing if she missed it she wouldn't be in by nine, and then Hannah, the supervisor, would be mad. "Wait for me, dammit!" The bus stopped but Jackie didn't. The fresh snow got the better of her, and her boots skidded. She slipped, and fell under the stopped bus. She banged her leg on the underside of it as she hit the street.

"Oh my God," she muttered, and pulled herself out from under the bus. She grabbed her bag, and stepped onto the bus. Everyone was staring at her, and she turned red.

"Jeeze, are you okay?" the driver asked as she paid. She nodded, and took a seat near the back of the bus. She pulled her skirt up, and saw a bruise was already forming where she hit the bus. There was also a lump appearing. She groaned, and pulled out her book. So far it's been a disappointing day and it's only seven forty five.

The bus pulled up outside Feingold's Department Store at eight forty five. Jackie got off, and walked into the building. She went into the break room and put her stuff in her locker she shared with a fellow saleswoman named Mable.

"Hi Jackie!" Liz said, walking in. "How are you?" She wanted to answer with 'I'm tired, I haven't eaten since last night, I'm reading about southern racism, and I fell underneath the bus', but instead went with

"Fine."

"We're on the floor soon, you ready to give some complimentary makeovers and sell some makeup?" Liz asked, primping her blonde hair.

"Always," Jackie said, and put on the smile customers loved. She was the helpful saleswoman, who knew your skin tone in one look and which makeup went with it. She could make anyone beautiful, because to her, someone had to be. And you would buy everything she recommended because you trusted her judgment. Jackie did love the fact she worked on commission, because she sold a lot of products.

"Have you heard from those schools yet, Jackie?" one of her favorite customers, Emily, asked her as she scanned the products.

"Not yet, Emily," she answered.

"Well, you're so good at what you do, you'll get in," Emily said, examining the newest cold cream.

"We'll see," Jackie answered.

"I haven't seen you since January," Emily said. "Did you ever work things out with that man you were telling me about?"

"Steven? No. And I don't really want to."

"I understand. Men are scum sometimes. Speaking of them, is there any new scum in your life?" Jackie laughed a little bit. The truth was, since she and Fez broke up there hadn't been anyone truly serious. She and Fez only dated for two weeks, and it ended because she couldn't bring herself to love him. She stayed at the apartment until Christmas, and then she moved out because she knew that Hyde and Fez liked hanging out. And she wouldn't be able to deal with that, not after the big Christmas party blow out.

"Not since November," Jackie said, ringing up the cold cream. "And that was short lived."

"Just one night, yes?" It had been. The best night she'd had in a long time. Because that night she met William. Nothing huge happened between them, just a couple of kisses. But he made her feel like a good person.

"Yeah, Spike was just one night," Jackie confirmed. But what a wonderful night it had been. "Enjoy your cold cream, Emily."

"Goodbye Jackie. Have a good day!" Too late for that, Jackie thought.

on to part 2...


	2. Chapter 2

Acceptance: Part 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing affiliated with 70s Show or Buffy.

She drank coffee in the break room, and Mable walked in.

"When are you off Jackie?"

"Five, Mable."

"Are you going home to Point Place or are you coming out with us girls tonight?"

"Thanks, but I should get home."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, Mom's gone until Saturday and I should clean the house since lord knows she doesn't. And she fired our cleaning lady in a drunken temper tantrum," Jackie said.

"Oh. Okay."

She went through the motions that come with a saleswoman, and then was horrified when she saw SAM walk into the make up department. She tried to hide behind the counter.

"Jackie? Could you take that one?" Hannah asked. Jackie was going to protest, but Hannah was the boss. You didn't say no. She nodded, and swallowed her pride.

"Welcome to Feingold's Department Store, may I help you with something?" she asked. Sam turned, and smirked.

"So she's working at a lowly department store," Sam said.

"What can I help you with?" Jackie asked.

"How polite. I can tell you're hating this," Sam stated, and laughed a little bit.

"If you don't need any help, I would appreciate it if you just said so, because there are other customers," Jackie said.

"Oh, I could use help," Sam said, and held up her hands to her face. "I'm completely lost when it comes to make up. I will need a FULL consultation." Jackie nodded, held in her anger, and led her to a chair.

"My first word of advice to you is that you wear a blush that matches your skin tone," Jackie said, and had a wicked idea. If she was brutally honest, she would be doing her job. It was what she was known for. So if she just went a few steps further… "After all, the blush you have now makes it look like your face is tan, but your body is the color of cottage cheese." Sam was surprised, but let that slide.

"I would suggest this blush," Jackie said, holding up a lighter sample. "This way you won't look orangey in the face."

"Well, I think that this one would look better," Sam said, trying to get as much time to have Jackie serve her as possible. But Jackie was all over it.

"No, that one is too light for you," Jackie said. "You would end up looking like a cheap French prostitute from the Revolution times. And they were pretty diseased." Even Sam knew that was a jab, and glared a little bit.

"Fine," she said. "What else would you suggest?" Jackie grinned to herself.

"Well, your lipstick kind of makes it look like you have purple slugs across your face," she said. "Try something that matches your tone more. If it looks natural, people will look and think 'wow, she has something natural on her body. Fancy that.'"

"Okay," Sam said, gritting her teeth.

"And the eyeshadow is ALL wrong," Jackie continued.

"I actually like that look," Sam said, getting more annoyed. "I think that's something I got right."

"You would THINK so," Jackie said. "But then, if you look closely, you will see that it's too dark. It doesn't match your eyes. Instead of accentuating them, it just makes them look dull. Like you're dead inside."

"I think that's going a little far," Sam said.

"But here at Feingold's it's in our policy to be as honest as possible," Jackie said. "You want to look good for your boyfriend don't you?" Sam then saw her way in.

"Yes, I do. I want him to see that I appreciate him. God knows that his EX never showed him." Jackie felt her stomach turn in knots. It hadn't changed. Even though she was good at burns, she never got the last laugh.

"Here is what I'd recommend," Jackie said, handing her a bunch of cosmetics. "I hope he likes it." Sam smiled smugly, and Jackie rang her up. Sam was going to pay, when she accidentally dropped a dollar on the floor. As she bent over, Jackie put a VERY expensive bottle of concealer in Sam's purse. Sam paid for the cosmetics.

"Thank you for putting a smile on my face, Jackie," she said, and Jackie smiled back, sweetly.

"No, thank YOU for shopping at Feingold's," Jackie retorted. "Have a nice day." Sam took her bag, and walked away. As Jackie went to the next customer, she heard the shoplifting alarm go off, and some guards ran towards the entrance. Well, today I did get the last laugh, Jackie thought, arching an eyebrow.

As Jackie packed up her bag, she looked at the clock. Five o five, she had ten minutes to get the suburb bus. She hurried, and threw on her boots, coat, hat, and gloves.

"Did you hear about that woman who tried to take that expensive concealer?" Liz asked, packing up as well. "She said that it must have fallen in her bag, and no one believed her. But they said that they wouldn't call the cops so long as she never shop here again." Jackie smiled a little to herself.

"Well, if she doesn't come back, that's okay," Jackie said. "Let her rob some other department store." Liz nodded.

"Are you sure you don't want to come out with us?" Mable asked.

"Yeah," Jackie said. "But I appreciate the offer."

"Any time, Jackie," Mable said. "Well Liz, shall we go?"

"Yep. See you tomorrow, Jackie" Liz said, and they left the break room. Jackie nodded, and closed the locker. She picked up her bag, and walked to the bus stop.

She sat on the bus, watching the cars go by. The sun was almost set. She read on the bus, and was happy that she wouldn't have to worry about Sam coming back into the store. It was well worth it. She chuckled a little, but her words stung as well. She knew that it was an exaggeration, but at the same time she couldn't help but feel bad. She knew that they were kind of true. She lost the love of her life because she didn't fully appreciate him. Of course, he didn't appreciate her either. But she couldn't help but blame herself and herself alone. She closed the book, and rested her head against the window.

She didn't have a full day the next day, because she had an appointment with her psychologist, so she got off early. It was so hard to think about going to see him, even though he was a very good psychologist. She knew that she owed him a lot. She didn't tell her friends that she was still seeing a therapist. It was a big secret to keep. They knew she saw one the past year to work out her frustrations with Steven, and left because the doctor said that she didn't really love Fez. Turns out that was true. But she went to another one shortly after that. And now she was being treated for something that wasn't just frustration, or anger, or poor self esteem. This had a much more sinister name. Depression. She closed her eyes, and put her hand on the window as well. Jackie Burkhart is depressed. What could she possibly be depressed about, they would most likely wonder. She's old money. She's pretty. She has a job that provides a lot of cash. But with all of that came the dark emotions that haunted her. The drinking that she would do by herself. The cuts she would make on her thighs, where no one would see them. So she kept it a secret from everyone. And the ironic thing was that she gave her 'big secret' her darker ones.

She was pulled from her deep thoughts when the bus stopped at the bus stop. She got off, and began the walk home.

She stopped at her favorite deli on the way home and bought a turkey sandwich. She hadn't eaten all day, her only energy was that coffee she had on her break. She was excited for that sandwich, and knew that she wouldn't have to worry about the calories because it was her only sustenance for the day. She made herself wait until she got home to eat it. It was going to be hard.

There was mail in the wooden box in the driveway. Probably bills. Or advertisements. Maybe a letter from Dad. He was getting out in a year, and he would send her letters every once in awhile. She hadn't received one since she turned nineteen in November. She grabbed the mail. It was mainly for her mother, magazines, catalogues, all the like. She tucked it under her arm, and walked into the house. She turned on the light, and walked into the kitchen. She began sorting through the mail, and set her bag down on a chair. It was all addressed to Pamela Burkhart.

She sighed, and was about to give up on mail coming for her, when she saw the envelope under one of her mother's magazines. It was addressed to her. And it was from New York University. She dropped the rest of the mail, threw her sandwich bag on the table, and stared at the letter.

She had applied to NYU when William 'Spike' The British Stranger told her that she was full of potential. She had never heard that before. And he was in New York, and her grandfather had gone there. Donna's college choice had made her want to go to college too. Not just to forget about Steven Hyde, but to get away from this town. She would have been happy going to Madison, but New York sounded so… classy. Now she was terrified to open it.

"Jeeze Jackie, get a grip," she said, and ripped it open. She pulled the letter out, and read it. "Dear Miss Burkhart. Welcome to NYU…. OH MY GOD!" She began jumping up and down, shrieking. She laughed, and shrieked, and smiled, and shrieked, and ran out into the cold.

"I got into NYU!" she yelled to no one in particular, though an older woman on the sidewalk saw her.

"Good for you!" the woman called, and Jackie laughed and smiled at her.

"I know!" she yelled back, and ran back into the house. She stuck the letter on the fridge, and ran up to her room. She filled out her part of the acceptance letter, threw a stamp on the envelope, and left the house.

She ended up at a mailbox outside the Hub. She kissed the letter, and dropped it into the box. She hugged the mailbox a little bit, and then sighed in contentment. She looked inside the Hub, and saw her friends. She considered going inside to tell them, but then thought better of it. She would be met with mockery, or scorn, or 'I can't believe NYU accepted a cheerleader like you'. Donna turned around inside, saw her, and waved. Jackie waved back, and Donna motioned for her to come in. Jackie shook her head, pointed at her watch, and then bolted down the street. She would tell them in time. But for now she had to keep it to herself. Goodbye, Point Place, she thought. In a few months, I'll leave you in the dust. Because I'm going to New York City. New York City, Jackie Burkhart is on her way, and you had better watch out!

She smiled as she walked back towards her house. Who would have thought that this day, which was filled with anger, sadness, and bittersweet memories would turn into one of the best days she could ever hope for? The day that she knew would change her life forever. For the better. Because even if he friends didn't accept her anymore, this college had.

THE END


End file.
